If emotions are like rain, yours are probably drizzle to my hurricane (John Green reference-anyone?).
I'm the girl you see crying into her popcorn at the theatre if the movie is even a tad-depressing. I'm the girl who jumps up and down with excitement at the beauty of a butterfly fluttering by. I'm the girl who talks a little too loud and uses a little too many hand motions. Yeah, that's me. On an emotional scale of 1 to 10, I'm 20, which is why when I really care about something you'll know because I won't shut up about it.
I have made it a habit of mine to peruse the news at least every other day to keep myself up to date with the world. I like being informed-knowledge is power after all. However, lately after clicking out of Daily Beast or Aljazeera, I find myself depressed with the state of the world. The carnage in the Middle East, the epidemic in East Africa, our country's own inept Congress. There is so much suffering, so much blindness, and, at the thought, I can't help but feel several hundred emotions at once.
In the face of so much negativity, I feel powerless, yet I want to do something about it. I feel: anguish, disgust, sympathy, sadness, grief, anger, contempt, guilty, anxious, fearful. I think that these emotions, this passion that I feel towards injustice, whatever that maybe and wherever that may lie, should be an important factor in my job. If my career does not contribute to the betterment of the world or to the betterment of lives, or worse, with the destruction of them, I do not want to have anything to do with it.
Unfortunately hurricanes are not the neatest of natural disasters, but hopefully I'll be able to organize my emotions to effectively assist the world. I'll become a rainstorm slowly eroding layer upon layer of human disasters to find underneath something good, and pure, and beautiful.
Of me, for you
I am made of tears
Uganda, Darfur, Somalia
China, Malaysia, Thailand
I am of you
Yet I cannot stand and reach the sky
My fingertips azure with longing
Empty of hope
I wear their bones around my neck
Of children and sweatshops
Of prostitutes and bamboo huts
Of slaves and packed dirt
I tread in suffering
For silk and coil
For jagged edges and cogged parts
For wasted slivers and sweat
I am for you
Friday, March 1, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Feathers of my Reality
I believe we each have our own sense of the world; each sound, each sight, each touch, each taste, each scent stimulates our minds and our emotions in it's own particular way. A fog horn may be horrendous for one person and tolerable, if not slightly annoying, for the next. I can't stand the scent of peanut butter, meanwhile someone else may be watering at the very thought. Roses are all lovely to one person, and all thorns to the next. Beauty is but a figment of our own individual perception. We construct the world we live in, but we did not construct ourselves.
We choose to cut our fingernails, but who decided that they were to have that particular shape? You can dye your hair every shade of iridescence, but naturally it's always going to be a color you cannot control. Physically, we are born a certain way, and the different stimuli around us shape us into the person we become, yet the way we look physically affects our surroundings, the way people see us, the way we can respond to the world, and, in turn, we mold the world as it molds us.
So what decided this mold? Where does the world stop and where does our true essence begin? Or rather, does it ever really end? All these questions are mighty philosophical, but science, more specifically genetics, can provide some answers. By defining one's essence as the information stored within the DNA of one's own cells, we can determine what exactly is out of our control. Genetics gives us leeway to say that we don't choose who we are a hundred percent of the way; we have an excuse for who we are, however measly the percent.
I want to entangle myself in our genome, pick its codons so to speak, discover which genes control what. I recently discovered that roughly 2% of the genome is genes and the other 98% constitutes in instructions for activation and deactivation. This "junk DNA", as it was previously thought to be, can hold many keys to our bodies processes through life. I want to learn to what extent we are ourselves and to what extent we are code.
I want to travel around the world and see how each environment - the plants, the animals, the temperature, the climate - have affected each group of people. How close are we really to our Sub-Saharan ancestors? Are our emotions really innate and how do we differ from culture to culture in our expression of them?
Perhaps all of these questions lead to the ultimate most unanswerable of all questions: Who are we? Who are we in what we do, what we think, and in what we innately are?
To me science is the religion of questions, of ponderings, of frustratingly beautiful mysteries just waiting to be cracked with each scientist a small chip in the frame work of our combined realities. I doubt we will ever crack it in my lifetime, but I want to make my dent and contribute to the life-long effort which is discovery.
Infinitesimal
We are 7 10^9
Are we?
Who is we?
A worth that cancels
or multiplies
or divides
into a zero so grand it
stretches toward the sun.
Yet, we span into eons
corded tightly into mesh with which
to capture our human faults.
Our breath
silent within our lungs has been so
much more than we dreamed.
We breathe
breathing
breaths
that once were hydrogen on a distant
star, and a scale of shimmery bits at the bottom
of a Himalayan pool, and
remnants of an arthropod’s clacking
rigid spines.
Infinity we become,
we who are already infinite.
We who were born clutching galaxies
that spooled into our DNA and
we who have absorbed the dying light
of a thousand stars
into our retinas.
We who will walk into
the memories of the millions
of years ahead.
But what if we are blurred
into a sea of 7 billion?
Canceled out by fate?
Will our atoms continue to be called
by our names and
wander in melancholic clusters
or will they be chemically
combined into a bird’s wing
or a coral polyp
or the mirage between fiction
and reality?
Life is too short to wonder
and death is too long to ponder
so I’ll settle my soul
in the coils of quarks
in the nooks of certainty
in the ridges of footprints
and dream
of infinity.
What questions do you have about the world that you would like to answer?
I close,
Sofia Braunstein
We choose to cut our fingernails, but who decided that they were to have that particular shape? You can dye your hair every shade of iridescence, but naturally it's always going to be a color you cannot control. Physically, we are born a certain way, and the different stimuli around us shape us into the person we become, yet the way we look physically affects our surroundings, the way people see us, the way we can respond to the world, and, in turn, we mold the world as it molds us.
So what decided this mold? Where does the world stop and where does our true essence begin? Or rather, does it ever really end? All these questions are mighty philosophical, but science, more specifically genetics, can provide some answers. By defining one's essence as the information stored within the DNA of one's own cells, we can determine what exactly is out of our control. Genetics gives us leeway to say that we don't choose who we are a hundred percent of the way; we have an excuse for who we are, however measly the percent.
I want to entangle myself in our genome, pick its codons so to speak, discover which genes control what. I recently discovered that roughly 2% of the genome is genes and the other 98% constitutes in instructions for activation and deactivation. This "junk DNA", as it was previously thought to be, can hold many keys to our bodies processes through life. I want to learn to what extent we are ourselves and to what extent we are code.
I want to travel around the world and see how each environment - the plants, the animals, the temperature, the climate - have affected each group of people. How close are we really to our Sub-Saharan ancestors? Are our emotions really innate and how do we differ from culture to culture in our expression of them?
Perhaps all of these questions lead to the ultimate most unanswerable of all questions: Who are we? Who are we in what we do, what we think, and in what we innately are?
To me science is the religion of questions, of ponderings, of frustratingly beautiful mysteries just waiting to be cracked with each scientist a small chip in the frame work of our combined realities. I doubt we will ever crack it in my lifetime, but I want to make my dent and contribute to the life-long effort which is discovery.
Infinitesimal
We are 7 10^9
Are we?
Who is we?
A worth that cancels
or multiplies
or divides
into a zero so grand it
stretches toward the sun.
Yet, we span into eons
corded tightly into mesh with which
to capture our human faults.
Our breath
silent within our lungs has been so
much more than we dreamed.
We breathe
breathing
breaths
that once were hydrogen on a distant
star, and a scale of shimmery bits at the bottom
of a Himalayan pool, and
remnants of an arthropod’s clacking
rigid spines.
Infinity we become,
we who are already infinite.
We who were born clutching galaxies
that spooled into our DNA and
we who have absorbed the dying light
of a thousand stars
into our retinas.
We who will walk into
the memories of the millions
of years ahead.
But what if we are blurred
into a sea of 7 billion?
Canceled out by fate?
Will our atoms continue to be called
by our names and
wander in melancholic clusters
or will they be chemically
combined into a bird’s wing
or a coral polyp
or the mirage between fiction
and reality?
Life is too short to wonder
and death is too long to ponder
so I’ll settle my soul
in the coils of quarks
in the nooks of certainty
in the ridges of footprints
and dream
of infinity.
What questions do you have about the world that you would like to answer?
I close,
Sofia Braunstein
Friday, December 14, 2012
The Bottom Line
Although my two most prevalent career choices are journalism and genetics, I constantly find myself investigating other possible paths. It's really quite amazing how many choices there are and the importance each and ever job has in the layout of the entire world, whether it be hair dresser to president to professional drum major. In the past, I've found myself subconsciously degrading other's for their job choice when really, without them, my life might be more difficult. Now with new insight gained for deep thought on the matter, I have become appreciative of all the work every person does in this world. I've also come to the conclusion that any job I choose will be one that benefits the community at least in some way shape or form, which is my bottom line for any job.
As I've worked on this blog I've come to see the basics that would encompass my future career, and in whatever field that career may be it must fulfill these basic requirements:
1. I have to consider it fun.
2. It must involve some sort of exploration.
3. It cannot be done predominantly in a cubicle.
4. I have to learn something new everyday.
5. People will gain knowledge from my work.
6. It must include human interaction.
7. It does not involve physics like equations and such.
8. I will get to be creative.
Unfortunately this list isn't too limiting and I still have a couple thousand ideas rampaging throughout my mind begging to be given a chance. The more I think about it, the more I wish it was possible to have various different jobs over the course of a lifetime, not out of disparity, but out of requirement, just for the fun of it. Why can't we be ballerinas for a portion of our lives and then go onto being electrical engineers, only to end up as gardeners just before we retire?
And another thing, the issue of money. I find it rather sad that we must choose between our dreams and our livelihood. Why is it that a football player who in the most basic sense has a career chasing after a ball and hurting others gets paid more (millions more) than the brave guy who picks up your trash ever Tuesday? What exactly decides the worth of a job?
Ah, if only you could have a career in questions.
I'm certain that I will find my ideal job, I only hope that I will not have to make a decision between what I love and what I, unfortunately, need.
I'll leave you with a poem about finding space for ourselves within lives that no longer seem to be our own.
Unnamed
As I've worked on this blog I've come to see the basics that would encompass my future career, and in whatever field that career may be it must fulfill these basic requirements:
1. I have to consider it fun.
2. It must involve some sort of exploration.
3. It cannot be done predominantly in a cubicle.
4. I have to learn something new everyday.
5. People will gain knowledge from my work.
6. It must include human interaction.
7. It does not involve physics like equations and such.
8. I will get to be creative.
Unfortunately this list isn't too limiting and I still have a couple thousand ideas rampaging throughout my mind begging to be given a chance. The more I think about it, the more I wish it was possible to have various different jobs over the course of a lifetime, not out of disparity, but out of requirement, just for the fun of it. Why can't we be ballerinas for a portion of our lives and then go onto being electrical engineers, only to end up as gardeners just before we retire?
And another thing, the issue of money. I find it rather sad that we must choose between our dreams and our livelihood. Why is it that a football player who in the most basic sense has a career chasing after a ball and hurting others gets paid more (millions more) than the brave guy who picks up your trash ever Tuesday? What exactly decides the worth of a job?
Ah, if only you could have a career in questions.
I'm certain that I will find my ideal job, I only hope that I will not have to make a decision between what I love and what I, unfortunately, need.
I'll leave you with a poem about finding space for ourselves within lives that no longer seem to be our own.
Unnamed
I saw the first
snowflake today
At dawn
I thought of you
And I thought
about us
And it melted away
Right onto my palm
A solid becoming
liquid
With more room to
move
Sofia Braunstein
Monday, November 19, 2012
The Wondrous World of Genetics
If you haven't been on the moon or some other part of our solar system for the last decade, you've probably noticed the prevalence of genetics in the news. The genomes, the complete set of genetic materials of an organism, of various animals have been sequenced, as has the human genome as of April 14th, 2003. Although the sequencing may be complete, the next step in the process, deciphering what exactly each gene controls, will take at least a few more years, and that is exactly what I want to be part of.
For those that don't know, genetics as defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary is the branch of biology that deals with the heredity and variation of organism, or in most basic terms, how DNA defines an organism. The study of genetics begins in the 19th century with the quintessential tale of Gregor Mendel and his peas. Gregor Mendel is often accredited as the father of genetics. Mendel was an Austrian monk who began breeding experiments with peas in 1856; before him, Aristotle, Hippocrates, Linnaeus, and Sageret has developed primitive theories about inheritance, although no statistical patter had been discerned. His experiments demonstrated a correlation between statistics and dominance at its most basic level; this particular kind of predictable inheritance is called Mendelian inheritance.
Although Mendel could predict a pattern of dominance in plants, he did not know what made such inheritance possible. Mendel's work was published in a back-water journal and was not rediscovered until the early 1900s. During the time leading up to the rediscovery of his work, a scientist by the name Friedrich Miescher discovered a weak acid in the nucleus of a cell, which is now known as DNA. Ten years later, Walter Flemming and two other colleagues succeeded in witnessing and explaining chromosome distribution during cell division. William Sutton and Theodor Boveri create the Boveri-Sutton chromosome theory in 1903, a theory that lays the basis for Mendelian genetics. The chromosome theory identifies the chromosomes as carriers of genetic material that are inherited in pairs, passed down from generation to generation, and are the basis for genetic inheritance. Additionally, the theory states that chromosomes are made up of genes, which can be found at specific sites, or loci, on them.
Passing forward the next 38 years, the terms genetics is first coined by William Bateson, the Harvy-Weinberg principle is developed, Alfred Sturtevant outlines the first genetic map of a chromosome, Ronald Fisher writes "The Correlation Between Relatives on the Supposition of Mendelian Inheritance", Jean Brachet demonstrates the location of DNA and RNA within a cell, and Edward Tatum and George Beadle identify that genes code for protein production. In 1953, Rosalind Franklin determines the helix structure of DNA (Note: Watson and Crick published this information, but only after they stole data from Franklin). DNA is first sequenced in 1977 by three different scientists, and six years later Kary Mullis develops the polymerase chain reaction which facilitates the amplification of DNA. In 1995, the first genome of an organism is fully sequenced, the genome of Haemophilus influenzae. All of these decades of research finally climax to the sequencing of the human genome in in 2003 by the Human Genome Project.
Genetics is essentially who we are at the most basic level aside from all the environmental influences that affect us as we mature. It all comes down to millions of codons of information about the way we look, the way we function, and at times the way we innately think. Although I wouldn't go so far as to say genetics is the most basic ingredient of the universe, it is the most basic ingredient of humanity; it is what makes us human and not chimpanzee. I want to delve into this soup of DNA and find what exactly makes certain people susceptible to certain diseases and how genes play out across the world's diverse population. The fact that only 4-different DNA basis can encompass a whole being; that our body's work in such a complex manner so well thought out; that there are so many endless possibilities within our 48 chromosomes allowing every individual alive to be unique; I have to believe that there is a sort of ultimate power in the universe that has made such beauty possible.
By studying genetics, I hope to unravel the mystery of the essence of life and come to terms with my own mortality, and, hopefully one day, find my name among Mendel's and Franklin's as a contributor to the wondrous world of genetics.
Flightless Wings
For those that don't know, genetics as defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary is the branch of biology that deals with the heredity and variation of organism, or in most basic terms, how DNA defines an organism. The study of genetics begins in the 19th century with the quintessential tale of Gregor Mendel and his peas. Gregor Mendel is often accredited as the father of genetics. Mendel was an Austrian monk who began breeding experiments with peas in 1856; before him, Aristotle, Hippocrates, Linnaeus, and Sageret has developed primitive theories about inheritance, although no statistical patter had been discerned. His experiments demonstrated a correlation between statistics and dominance at its most basic level; this particular kind of predictable inheritance is called Mendelian inheritance.
Although Mendel could predict a pattern of dominance in plants, he did not know what made such inheritance possible. Mendel's work was published in a back-water journal and was not rediscovered until the early 1900s. During the time leading up to the rediscovery of his work, a scientist by the name Friedrich Miescher discovered a weak acid in the nucleus of a cell, which is now known as DNA. Ten years later, Walter Flemming and two other colleagues succeeded in witnessing and explaining chromosome distribution during cell division. William Sutton and Theodor Boveri create the Boveri-Sutton chromosome theory in 1903, a theory that lays the basis for Mendelian genetics. The chromosome theory identifies the chromosomes as carriers of genetic material that are inherited in pairs, passed down from generation to generation, and are the basis for genetic inheritance. Additionally, the theory states that chromosomes are made up of genes, which can be found at specific sites, or loci, on them.
Passing forward the next 38 years, the terms genetics is first coined by William Bateson, the Harvy-Weinberg principle is developed, Alfred Sturtevant outlines the first genetic map of a chromosome, Ronald Fisher writes "The Correlation Between Relatives on the Supposition of Mendelian Inheritance", Jean Brachet demonstrates the location of DNA and RNA within a cell, and Edward Tatum and George Beadle identify that genes code for protein production. In 1953, Rosalind Franklin determines the helix structure of DNA (Note: Watson and Crick published this information, but only after they stole data from Franklin). DNA is first sequenced in 1977 by three different scientists, and six years later Kary Mullis develops the polymerase chain reaction which facilitates the amplification of DNA. In 1995, the first genome of an organism is fully sequenced, the genome of Haemophilus influenzae. All of these decades of research finally climax to the sequencing of the human genome in in 2003 by the Human Genome Project.
Genetics is essentially who we are at the most basic level aside from all the environmental influences that affect us as we mature. It all comes down to millions of codons of information about the way we look, the way we function, and at times the way we innately think. Although I wouldn't go so far as to say genetics is the most basic ingredient of the universe, it is the most basic ingredient of humanity; it is what makes us human and not chimpanzee. I want to delve into this soup of DNA and find what exactly makes certain people susceptible to certain diseases and how genes play out across the world's diverse population. The fact that only 4-different DNA basis can encompass a whole being; that our body's work in such a complex manner so well thought out; that there are so many endless possibilities within our 48 chromosomes allowing every individual alive to be unique; I have to believe that there is a sort of ultimate power in the universe that has made such beauty possible.
By studying genetics, I hope to unravel the mystery of the essence of life and come to terms with my own mortality, and, hopefully one day, find my name among Mendel's and Franklin's as a contributor to the wondrous world of genetics.
Flightless Wings
what are we,
such wondrous things
can we not rise
with our flightless wings?
worthlessness be gone
tremor be still
all that takes
is the strength of will,
the courage to look
at what we see
the want to live
in reality
Thursday, October 11, 2012
A Voyage to a Land Afar
Play this video as you read...(well you don't have to, but bear with)
Hear the trumpeting of an elephant exhaled continuously through the thousand years out of millions we will never witness. Hear the cry of the Norse warriors as they return home killing instruments becoming musical. Hear the rustle of the leaves in the Amazonian forests that harmonize with the calling of the birds.
Smell the tart citrus and spice of the Oriental; the tender beef bourguignon from a Parisian restaurant; the bite of a Mexican pepper slowly invading your lungs.
Travel is, in my opinion, one of the most existential experiences in the world. The transcendence of time and knowledge to a place where there is only sensation. (You can stop the video now, thankyouverymuchforlistening)
Although travel has never been my constant companion (though one could argue we are always traveling) physically, it has been mentally. In my past lives I can swear that I was a magic carpet, a plane, a blade of grass in a Scottish meadow, a cloud over majestic Bali. And maybe a couple of other things like a baobab in the Sub-Saharan, and Marie Antoinette's existential cake. Perhaps these strange azoic dreams can be dismissed as mere hypnagogia, but from my perspective they are a sign of my congenital proclivity toward travel (ok, I'll stop with the big words now).
When I first thought of what to write for my second blog, I remained stuck, unsure of how to continue, but as soon as I recalled the component of traveling that remains a deal-breaker in my future career, I knew exactly what I was going to write.
To begin, I do not believe I have ever been truly homesick as long as I am not completely alone. Traveling is a beauteous adventure that has a place in my heart right beside my family and my love of the written word. I haven't had much of a chance to travel for long periods of time, so perhaps my words will come back to bite me but, at this moment in time, I think I'd be content anywhere in the world as long as I had a traveling companion or means of communication.
Secondly, I love love love to meet new people and explore new cultures. Travel ultimately fulfills both of these conditions. The idea of trying new foods, speaking new language, talking to locals, exploring ruins...all of that just comprises my paradise.
Although I would not solely decide my profession based on whether it depends heavily on travel, I believe it does have significant weight. It provides a means of enjoyment and learning, both of which are vital job characteristics. If a job or any form of activity isn't fun, why do it?
If money and job availability were not major concerns of mine (which unfortunately, like any other human on the planet who wants to make a decent living, do have importance), my number one job would be that of an investigative journalist. I recently read an article in the Daily Beast, about the issue with investigative journalists in the Middle East, many of whom are risking everything and anything to be on the front line to get a story fresh with the smell of gun-fire on the edges of its words. From my perspective, however dangerous such work maybe, it sounds exhilarating and noble and loads of fun. I doubt I'll be sneaking via canoe into Saudi Arabia, but I am certain that regardless of the profession I end up applying myself to it will be one that invigorates me and makes me love life all the more.
I do believe that the purpose of this blog post wavers like a half-masted flag unsure whether it fully wants to embrace the wind, but I hope that at least segments of it are cohesive and are not a pile of muddlemush solidifying in your brain without chance of making any sense of it all.
Bittersweet Times
Throw away those
old days
of towers and
flocks of geese
of slick black cats and
organ jars preserved
in hundred year old sorrow
of crusted blood
and heavy armours
of silks that never die and
and little pepper feet
that never walked a mile
Forget those
days
of yellowed eyes and
weathered whips,
deliverers of pain
of war cries, and love cries
across the dusty plains
of pyramids of sweat and stone
that never touched the sky
of babbling tongues and
lost conquests
of pentagrams and
ghosts of children
that never got to breathe
And instead
think of
a world
where black and
white do match
where childhood isn’t
forsaken
and hope isn’t
locked in a little black box
just
out of reach
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
I close,
Sofia
Sunday, September 9, 2012
A Chaotic Bunch of Rambles Worth an Introduction
Within the nuclei of your billions of cells there is a galaxy worth of DNA, with each planet a single gene, and each person a single letter of code (A, T, G, or C). We are each a universe unto ourselves containing all its parallels and anti-parallels and dimensions and anti-matter. Our individuality is created by the identity of each of those little people, and how they make their planet "home"; by the shape of each galaxy and its direction of rotation; by the number of dimensions and parallel universes. It is this wondrous mystery of the self that I want to study socially, scientifically, and fictionally.
If I was to describe my universe, there wouldn't be much to say not because it doesn't encapsulate much but because its such a jumble of nonsense that words cannot convey the half of it (this blog might very well end up mirroring this chaos). I consider myself a wanderer, much more content on the go than in one place; my thoughts are very much the same. I always want to do too much, feel too much, and be too much. As my friends will tell you I am constantly busy, sensitive, and have my every fiber stuck in a different direction. But finally, after more than a few years of struggle on the direction I wanted to take my life that concerned my choice of major, I have come to a more limited conclusion on what I would like to dedicate myself to. Essentially, I want to study anthropology, psychology, botany,genetics, and write all about it.
In college, I plan to double major in anthropology and biology and minor in creative writing and psychology. So perhaps this really isn't narrowing things down, but its a start and this blog will hopefully assist me in traveling a few more kilometer to my final, certain destination. Then again it might not, as the position of politician and social activist has certainly gotten my attention what with the election and all....All I know is that whatever life has in store for me, regardless of what path I choose, I want that path to include traveling and helping humanity in some way, shape or form.
I cannot think of a time when I didn't have an interest in science or literature. From the day I could read my whole face was tucked into a book, and from before then I constantly gleaning information about dinosaurs, plants, and the universe. This appetite for information has thus far grown to huge proportions; I am still hungry for more. It is my dream to contribute to this body of knowledge us humans have assembled so that other children, like myself, will have the opportunity to learn from it like I did.
In this blog, I hope to explore my own personal universe as well as to poke around its underside and see what scientific secrets reside there. Posts will begin with an exploration or commentary about one of my areas of interest and end with a poem or story of mine. This post's poem is about finding what we are looking for in the most unexpected places.
Promises
The arc of night shuttered us
in with promises of
starry days.
And its vanilla mouth
licked the remnants of wishes from
the sky as they slid
down our branches
to our toes by the sea.
We took its essence
and painted it with cloven brushes
to the multitudinous sky
of blackened soot
and, to our dismay,
we found our promises etched in dust
on the undersides
of our beds
I close,
Sofia Braunstein
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